On love

….contd….

“When they think what they are feeling is same as what they are saying, then they are not ‘lying’. But what they are saying is not true. They said ‘Be with us always’ and they and you both presumed it to be love for me when that is not the case.  They don’t love me. They are not grateful to me. They are grateful to my ability to heal. The day I stop healing, will they want to meet me? Won’t most of these people generate anger for me as I am not healing them? If they are grateful they should be so for the rest of their lives irrespective of what I do, I don’t from now on. But that is not the case. They don’t want me for myself. They want my ability to heal. Without that I don’t mean anything to them. So what they said is not ‘true’. That way they didn’t know that they weren’t telling the truth!”

Saying this she went out, I sat there frozen. I didn’t know how to react. I replayed her words again and again. No, she didn’t show anger in her words. She had said it as a matter of fact. And it hit me.  The truth in those words became evident. What was the cause of joy few minutes ago became cause of pain for me now. I didn’t know what to tell her. Did it pain to know this truth and yet go about doing her duty so religiously? I wondered! It certainly did for us. I couldn’t behave her way if I knew such a truth about others’ behaviour.  

It was sometime later that I heard few voices that bought me to reality. I came out and saw Priya and Rahul standing with her talking as she was pruning her plants. I went slowly and joined them. “Did we disturb your thought process?” asked Rahul teasing me.

“No, not at all” I replied.

“You seem so lost. What is it?” asked Priya “Please share with us”.

But I was so dazed I directly asked my Guru “Then why do you do all these to these selfish people?” I asked clearly disturbed and a bit angry at everyone’s selfishness.

She smiled “I wanted to put my ability to good use that’s all! I am glad my abilities can bring abundance and make a difference in their lives”.

“But they are not grateful to you….”my voice trailed.

“I knew that even before meeting all these people and even before me putting my abilities to use. Gaining love and gratitude was not the incentive that made me take this decision. Knowing the truth is one thing. Being affected by it another and to let that decide or affect your decision – that would be an emotional mistake. I didn’t let all this knowledge change my decision. Inspite of knowing what I would and wouldn’t get, I walked this path. That is clarity of thought. When and if I had expected otherwise and after some time when my eyes would be opened, I would have become bitter and manipulative. But now it is not so. That’s because of clarity of thought. Associating with your abilities is good but identifying with them – well that ride can be quite a roller-coaster one. I am just saying don’t do that. That’s all. Develop clarity of thought. Then this ‘maya’ can’t disturb you. Here it means behavior and intentions of people. 

Once you know their intentions and yet are balanced, you behave as per ‘dharma’ i.e., as ought to in that situation without the thought of ‘playing good’ games to be in others’ good books. You work for others’ benefit only even if it is something that may make them dislike you in the process. As long as you are here to get something good – like name, gratitude, love from others you cannot be true to your profession. You become manipulative, insecure and living in fear person. So I repeat ‘Develop clarity of thought’.”

...contd....