A moment of revelation!

Me, My Guru

Today, I didn’t walk I just sat on a bench in the park. I saw few pigeons eating grains scattered by some ‘good soul’. I decided to spend my ‘walking time’ as ‘seeing time’ today. Yes, my Guru always asked us to just ‘see’ or ‘look at’ nature as a form of exercise. She said it was cathartic. She said it gave us spiritual and meaningful insights. “You meet yourself when you just sit and look” she would often say.

I had done this exercise few times very enthusiastically when she had said. But having found no benefit I stopped it. Forget about benefit I couldn’t make head or tail of what she said. So I just discontinued. Don’t know what came into me today! I just remembered her ‘this sentence’ and very strongly wanted to do it. So, here I was ‘doing it’.

Kids were running to catch pigeons which were feasting on grains. There was laughter everywhere. Young girls and boys looking at these birds were smiling lost in some thoughts (I thought!). People who were old sitting on the bench seemed relaxed looking at pigeons and weren’t talking for the past ½ an hour.

In short, every body seemed joyous, relaxed and happy. That set me thinking. Even I was relaxed and it was well past 10 am and I had been looking at these birds for more than an hour and I didn’t even feel that hour.

These birds seem to have this wonderful effect on one and all! That set me thinking how many around me were actually joyous, relaxed and happy when I was with them? Did I have this effect on the people in my life? I didn’t like the answer. It was not what I believed myself to be. It seemed to shatter the image I carried about myself. But surprisingly I was not angry, depressed or in pain like other times when I realized such truths about myself. Today I seemed okay with this revelation. That was bit surprising. Birds still held my attention. Their flight and flutter had an impact that I couldn’t decipher but enjoyed none-the-less.

...contd.....