On judging others

….contd……….

‘No more judging people – simple! Why argue about it or discuss it even when we know how it is hurting us?’ Rahul said as a matter of fact.

‘True, true’ everyone agreed.

We all were trying to internalize this sentence for sometime.

‘But Guruji, is it as simple as that? Explain in detail. Why do we ‘judge’ ourselves or others in the first place? And what are the various areas in which we judge? I think by knowing it’s origin and it’s manifestation, we’ll be in a better position  to notice it, deal with it and finally transcend it’ requested Aziz.

I was glad he asked this question. I wanted to know this answer but I never could bring myself to ask these questions especially in a crowd. And I knew few others who were in the same shoes as me. So, he actually was asking on behalf of us. I thanked him silently and sent reiki to him for his well being, clarity of thought and happiness as a form of gratitude to him.

‘well let’s see few sentences of ‘judging’.

‘she may be beautiful but very mean……’

‘he is not good looking but very good at heart……..’

What do such statements point to?’ our Guruji asked.

‘Physicality of a person’.

‘Good. But what exactly are we trying to state with that statement?’

...contd...... 

On being judgmental

…contd…………..

 ‘you mean to say that I if judge someone, then I accrue karma? What type of karma do I accrue?’ Priya asked worried.

‘Theirs’ she replied ‘If you judge ‘X’ on a situation, you’ll receive their karma i.e., their situation becomes yours. For eg. If you say ‘how can he not take care of his parents?’ then sooner than later, he’ll be in a position where he’ll not be in a position to take care of them.

Whenever you judge, you are making a statement that somehow means ‘I wouldn’t do or think of doing it!’ Right? Then it implies that you would behave differently in that given situation and hence for you to prove that point and for you to set that eg. to others you are put in exactly the same situation. But, alas more than often we behave exactly as the person whom we judged!

By attracting that situation in our life, we are being instrument in ‘seeding’ the ‘cause’ and then cry when we have to live the ‘effect’ of that ‘cause’ as ‘why such a bad luck to me?’

‘You mean to say ‘judging’ is the way I commit ‘karma’ (many times it being negative) and suffer the consequences, when it can be easily avoided just being non-judgmental?’ enquired Rahul. The fright was written all over his face. And so it was on others face too. Each seemed to go through the memory lane to see ‘how they’ve been judgmental in their past and how it had come back to them as their karma’.

‘Phew! So true. Now, I can understand clearly so many events that had happened in my life and in others and as to the cause and effect of such events. My God! How stupid we all had been! If only we knew it then……..’ it was Priya voicing most of our thought. ’Now that we know what are we going to do about it is the question?’ Aziz continued the conversation.

....contd......

On Judging

….contd……

It was one hour before our cleaning up work got finished. It was then that I noticed Aziz being tea for all along with some cookies that he managed to get for all. I noticed Priya, Rahul and Sandhya had brought lunch for all. Aziz had brought morning and evening snacks for all. Someone had brought few fruits too! And here, I was as usual who had come empty handed.

Our Guru sat on her favourite rock under the neem tree and we sat all around her. Everyone was sharing his experience with her and with one another. She was drinking her tea as she listened to us talk and discuss. Not a word from her for more than ½ an hour now.

‘Oh God! I too did that mistake!’

‘I did not compare my kids and ….’

‘…….not comparing friends is so difficult and …………’

Each one was justifying arguing or explaining what they did!

‘Guruji, who among us fared better? ’ asked someone suddenly.

‘Judge not for ye shall be judged!’ her voice answered.

‘But we are not judging, we are asking you to tell us who fared better’

‘If I judge you, I shall be judged’ she replied with a smile.

‘Because of your journey why should I bring upon karma of ‘judging others’? It’s your journey. Wherever you are today, it certainly is not the last stop and you all know that. There’s miles to go before you sleep and even this you know. Some covered more distance than others. So what? Did not tortoise though slow but steady won the race? One who’s travelled more may lose enthusiasm after sometime and drop out of this practice but the slow may continue and finally win the race. So why bother? Where you are now is as irrelevant as where you started from. Only thing that should matter to you should be ‘am I regular in my sadhan? If not, why not? And if yes, then what do I do to keep doing it regularly…….’

‘you mean to say that I if judge someone, then I accrue karma? What type of karma do I accrue?’ Priya asked worried.

…contd…………..

On being judgemental

On being Judgmental

Me, my Guru

What my Guru said about comparison kept ringing in my ears for days to come. I tried to apply it i.e., by not comparing. But, more I became conscious of that fact, the more I realized that ‘comparison’ was not once in a while act. It was the underlying act – a natural process that was going on all through the day with one and all! This revelation shocked me. It shook me! ‘Not to compare’ meant ‘stop thinking’ 50% of time. It was that simple to put it across. ‘But, just imagine, not being able to think 50% of time – mission impossible! Yet I was hell bent on trying it out.  Initially, I jumped from one thought of comparison to another and all I felt I was doing was cancelling thought after thought. And so, I couldn’t continue beyond 5 mths. Yes, that was max I could do. Even that would sap all energy off me. But, practice I did. And later on, after few days, I noticed that the frequency between two thoughts of comparison had reduced. I felt up the good work. It took few months of ‘conscious’ practice to achieve this goal. But now, I found myself comparing only ¾ times per hour. That was a huge achievement for me. I knew I could reduce it further too if I kept up with this practice for few more months.

I felt more peaceful than before – less irritated and agitated. I caught myself smiling few times a day too! This incentive was enough to help me hold on to this ‘hard task’.

It’s time I felt to go to my Guru’s place. She really would be happy to hear my progress! I may also get few tips on how to do this more effectively!

I reached her place by 9 am. I found others already cleaning her garden there. Yes, we had all talked over phone and decided to meet today at 8.30am.

They as usual were on time and I as usual was late. I felt bad. But somehow, I could never come on time. But this was better. Earlier, I used to come at least 1-2 hours late. Now, I am only ½ an hour late. That’s my growth and I was proud of my growth. I shared the same with Priya as I helped her prune a plant. She smiled. I thought it was odd and I asked her the reason. She said ‘we all practiced’ not comparing ‘all these months and today wanted to meet to discuss our progress and see we started the note on ‘comparing’ – back to square one. Isn’t it?’

I felt so stupid. So true! All my joy vanished in thin air. It happened so smoothly that I didn’t even realize it. God knows how many times it has already happened with me.

….contd……

On Judging

"Judge not for ye shall be judged!"

The river

The river

Since childhood, I like to sit on the banks of river. I do it occasionally. I can sit looking at running water for hours. I had been busy all these years and couldn’t go to the river. Today, after many years, I longed to go down to the river. I went.

I sat on my favourite spot – a rock under a huge peepul tree. But, like good old days, I couldn’t put my feet I the water.  The water was very dirty. I looked at my reflection. My face looked bad – real bad. I didn’t like it. I couldn’t stand it.  So, I left sooner than I thought. My reflection hurt me a lot. I was depressed for long time to come. I decided not to go to river ever.

Sometime passed. I heard some group had cleared and cleaned the river. Now, it was clear like before. Everyone was in praise of it. I was tempted to go. I stood the temptation for sometime, but had to give in very soon.

One evening I took courage and went to the river and sat on my favourite spot as ever!

What they said about river being cleaned was true. Now, the water was not murky.  It was clean and clear. I looked at my reflection. I liked it. I looked at it for long. How long I don’t remember? But, as long as I looked at it, I was blissful and totally at peace.

It was late in the evening when I came back to my senses. I smiled at my experience. It was wonderful and so fulfilling. How wonderful it would have been if the river was ever so clean and clear! But, who was responsible for it being polluted and who is to clean it? For me to love myself, I needed a clear river! Sounds so simple yet………

I left the river with a heart singing out of joy but a mind that had a question ‘will the river be the same when I come back next time?’. I hope so!