Friday, September 21, 2012

On Death....



Recently, my two aunts left their human bodies behind to resume their journey in other dimensions – in layman’s language they just ‘dropped dead’.  Fact was they were well past their 80’s and had lived quite a good innings.  But, the reason why everyone felt bad was they were special.  They had conducted themselves with immense strength and character.  They had immense love, affection and little nothings to share with all around them.  They never complained about not calling on them or any such thing.  They received one who went to meet them with open arms.  That’s all!  I never heard them bitch on others.  They both gave me lots of affection (which is next to rarity from any of my immediate family members in my life!) and it just increased over the years.  Yet, here I was listening to the news of their demise with poise and calm.  It didn’t break me as it did all others.  Everyone around me was needed to be consoled but not me.  A tear or two that slipped past my eyes reminded me that it was shed for myself.  It was for my loss – loss of affection that I had received all these years.  It wasn’t for that person.  It was surprising to me.  Even in death, we actually are bothered only about ourselves – our loss and nothing else!  Why are we so self-centered?  And the best part is we call it this missing or pain as love for the other.  When infact, it is only for the self……..when is the time I actually feel for other?  I wonder if there is any such moment……

But, that aside I asked myself “Was I incapable of any deep emotion“?  The answer wasn’t as important as the revelation that I actually felt lighter after hearing the news of my aunt’s demise – both the times…
 ......contd.......

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