On prayers unanswered and desires kept pending......by an ardent devotee of GOD!

On prayers unanswered and desires kept pending......by an ardent devotee of GOD!

I am a ‘believer’ in GOD and would love to believe that HE is there ‘somewhere up there’ for me! 

I would like to believe HE listens to me. 

I long to believe that HE loves me and wants to fulfil my wishes – nay exists only to fulfil my wishes! 

In my head I AM THE ONLY existence for HIM and I believe that to be true! 

I wish my belief was validated with my experience!?! 

Well, If I need to be generous, yes few of my ‘small’ wishes did come true (and some of them a wee bit late than soon and I had to do lots of sadhan for that too!), but ONE wish that was most important and dearest to me has been kept on hold since ages..... 

And it is at such times I wonder if God has ceased to exist for me! And even if HE did exist may be HE has become deaf to me and my woes? 

I wonder..... 

Has HE gone on a holiday? Does HE? Can HE? Would HE? Does HE need it or want it? 

I just wished HE grant me my long pending ‘wish’ as I cursed HIM and my FATE, I heard this song playing in a shop that I walked into and then......... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GuA5PZx3K4 ...I had my cup of coffee and left the shop wondering.........was it HIM that set that song for me? I guessed I would never get an answer for that! But I realized I had a smile on my lips and a gratitude in my heart as I walked out of that shop...........and thank God for that! 

also read previous related posts : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=prayers

(if any of you come across any posts related to this topic please give the link)