On absence, love and relationships!!!

I was in Kashmir since a month....being away from home and most importantly from 'Our Guru's place' made this stay differently difficult and yet it gave me it's own share of happiness to me... It was confusing to me all through....what was it that i was undergoing....there was a pain - a sweet pain of missing not going to 'her place' and attending those sessions (most of which i didn't understand and few i even didn't accept or figure out then) and yet now that i wasn't in a position to go, i felt the absence more than ever...

this was a strange feeling...i never thought i would miss our sessions or being at her place so much....i never knew she had grown so much into me...this office job actually did me good in this way of getting to reveal this facet of mine to me....

I had this strange habit of collecting pieces of paper lying around at her place whenever we went to do the cleaning work (or seva as others would say)....no one noticed and no one seemed to care...many times I didn't even read them, yet would collect them....and they came handy now....as i was packing to come to Kashmir on official trip, i decided without any reason to just take few of those pages with me.....i went through them in the evenings in the still of my room...they seemed to come alive - i can't explain how and why but they did....i had my share of experiences with them and my understanding seemed to have increased like never before....was it the beauty of the place, the serenity of the mountains that peeked through the window of my room...whatever it was , it seemed to work best here ... i liked it.......i was enjoying it.....the pain of absence brought with it a joy of knowing a presence felt that went beyond barriers of time and space.......

i looked out of the window.......the mountain peak filled with ice seemed to calm me and a smile lingered on my lips for a long time to come..........

"Is this all love was about?" I thought! "When we notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even than we loving their presence?"  This paradox hit me hard......and I let this thought put me to sleep.....

contd.....

A thank-you!

To all those who missed my presence by way of blog - I am sorry i couldn't be connected to you through new posts in this blog for so long a period and that too without any intimation....and thank-you for your genuine concern. I was really touched!

 "Someone told me once "The day your presence and absence makes a difference in even one person's life, then know that your life has not gone waste....."

Didn't know then that 'the feeling of knowing that can be so good too!'....

But it also should be equally true that you had felt my 'presence' more in my 'absence' this time......

You could have experienced a different type of healing - know then that i wasn't as far away from you as it seemed......

on feedback....

one more word.....

all those who have answered (and those who thought of an answer but didn't have patience or courage to post it)  go through your answers again once again now....with regards to 'self-worth'!....

remember the first time when you met me and asked me questions regarding your issues and such related ones (the very first one which most of you had - the counseling session before attending class..and those who didn't then questions you asked after the first day class....)...try to recollect those questions and your arguments...

now relate them to your present answers...

from 'THERE' to 'HERE' in your perspective is your journey that you have made in this difficult one......that of going inwards and addressing your beliefs and attitudes....

just look at these answers....they talk volumes about the growth that you have made.... all other achievements (by way of materialistic ones - like being married, promotions, earnings, assets etc) well i was and am happy for you in those fields, but this growth - the change in your perception actually is the one that would be carried by you even in your next lives....as your starting balance which is very good...and that i am really happy about ......good job....keep learning, keep growing and changing for better......

bless you!!!

on feedback etc....

Contd.....

Trust me, I’ve realized many times – even when in extreme pain (of any sort!) that just ‘existence is worth a celebration’. Yes pain hurts but to experience pain I should exist. If I am experiencing pain that means I am still alive and kicking. People with leprosy and acute diabetes don’t experience pain in their extremities and lose them over the period of time as they couldn’t realize it was infected and had to be healed in time. We address a disease only when we feel it. If we don’t feel it, how can I know of it’s existence? So, you see pain is good. It helps us to look into the area of trouble.

When someone askes ‘how are you?’ I say ‘maze mein....

“zindagi mein gam hai,

Gam mein dard hai,

Dard mein mazaa hai,

Aure maze mein hum hai....”

ज़िन्दगी में ग़म है 
ग़म में दर्द है 
दर्द में मज़ा है 
और मज़े में हम है। ... 

there is sorrow in life,
in sorrow there is some pain
but in pain there is pleasure
and in that pleasure am I...

So when things are not going your way, you are in different time zone from others and they will happen as per your time zone. So wait! But, with a smile on your lips and hope in your eyes! Learn the art of waiting! Learn to wait! Learn to love waiting! Learn to live!

And you have reiki to support you...

Do re-birth meditation with needed attitude....

Heal, heal and heal. Use all waiting period to heal so that you also enjoy what you desired when it is yours.

Successful ones are those that get what they want.

Contended and happy ones are those that want what they have!

So, work towards being happy person. Heal so much that you celebrate life when your wish comes true! Otherwise with many it is “Ask and it shall be given and then suffer with your asking...”

I may have left few loose ends and if you happen to pick them up do ask questions and I’ll try to write on them.....

concluded...... 

read related posts on pain for further clarification : http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=pain