On the road Trip

...contd...

Likewise each came out with their own benefit and how their desire has been fulfilled. I felt proud of my guru. How could she fulfil so many people’s wishes in one go. I was lost in such thoughts when Rahul signalled me to get up and go with him I joined him in his night walk when we walked few steps. I heard Rahul and Aziz laugh. It was puzzling but they both started explaining in between their laughs “Just listen to them they are running away from their miseries, Responsibilities and realities and she’s given them an avenue to do so yet these takers of joy from her pity her for not enjoying how childish can they be? We got so less time to spend with her and there is so much we can learn from her presence in these 10 days and here they are limited to their desires and expectations poor them! How true our guru was when she said “The River offers all and more but what one receives depends entirely on that person ONLY. She has so much to offer but how much they receive in their hollow, shallow, small mugs?”

I was dumbstruck. So true! I thought my guru was great in giving these experiences to these people. How foolish of me! It was nothing it was wrong completely. Each received from their trip based on his or her expectations and desire only and that again depended on his attitude. My Guru had just given an opportunity that is this trip. How   one benefits from it depended entirely on one’s self! She knew it and maybe that's why her participation was not as much as I expected! She let everyone get what they desired from this trip! That’s all! What restraint from her part WOW! Trip was same yet everyone’s experience was so much varied now I knew it was all individual based.

I knew I can sleep peacefully tonight as night lulled my senses.............

...contd....

On the Road Trip

Day Four:

Yesterday late night around eleven we reached this sanctuary and as per our schedule we are to stay here for two days. At night we all were very tired due to travel and went straight to bed.

We had finished our breakfast and were heading for a jeep ride in the sanctuary. 

Everyone was happy, excited and chatting loudly.

There were no lions or tigers in this sanctuary but we could feel that jungle air sending shiver down our nape. We spotted deer’s, wild buffalos, eagles and elephants too. Just watching these animals in their natural habitat gave us so much of joy. We even saw few donkeys there. We all automatically laughed looking at donkeys. I noticed we generated different emotion for each animal and bird. Surprising! They don’t do anything apart from being themselves yet they evoked different response from us. I found that odd and a bit confusing. Did the same apply to human? I wondered “Donkeys are a rare sight now a day’s” commented someone. So true!

“What we take for granted can one day become a rarity” so true! So frightening! Is it because we are taking it for granted that it becomes rare? I wondered.

“Do we value it when it’s around or do we know it’s worth only when it’s gone?” I wondered.

The entire day went in such activities. After dinner we all sat around the bonfire. Few minutes later our Guruji excused herself and went into her room.

“Sometimes I pity our guruji. She doesn’t know to enjoy life like us. She doesn’t participate in these activities. She takes spirituality very seriously and doesn’t get involved in activities that we all enjoy and look forward to participating” said Preethi. “Same here” agreed Nitya. “Maybe she is conscious in our presence!” venkat said.

Rahul cut that conversation and posed a question “But did she do us any good by planning this trip?”

“I wanted a break so badly from my family and this trip just gave me that. I thank her for understanding my need” answered priya immediately.

“I was totally depressed before this trip but now I am completely healed of it” joined Nithya. “I always wanted to see these place that we’ve visited so far and others in our antinomy. Glad she planned according to my tastes”. Came Raji’s voice form a far.

...contd....

On the Road Trip

....Contd...

Sita and Priya joined us then actually they had come to tell that all others had left for the bus and we were to join them now. I got up when I heard a shriek it was Priya’s she said “Our castle totally washed out by the waves”. They both looked very sad.

My guru just put her hand around their shoulder and started walking.

Our bus started few minutes later I asked “but, it was just sand castle, why did they suffer so much of pain? It looked silly”.

“It was not the sand castle that gave them the pain”, she started to explain with eyes closed “but the words with which they related the sand castle “My” or “Mine” and “My creation” that is the cause of that pain. The moment one owns it with 

“My child”,

“My caste”,

“My parent”,

“My relative”,

“My country”,

“My food” (That I prepared my creation),

“My painting”,

“My work”,

All such “My’s” will give immense pain when they are washed away or when others fail to fulfill them. Our expectations from our life and life’s situation are the cause of our pain not life by itself. 

If their pain was unreal then why did you hold them?” I asked confused. 

“Because, the cause of their pain was unreal but their pain was real”. Having said this, she went into silence and I went within myself to check my areas of pain and suffering. Today came with a huge baggage of learning and I for now wanted to savour every moment of that learning and so closed my eyes to look within …….

....contd....

On the Road Trip

Day Three 4:00PM:

We were on the beach today. This beach had varied of adventure sports available. Few of us went to rowing in a boat. Some for speed boat riding and few others even went for Para-sailing.

My Guru just sat on the beach looking at the horizon sitting all alone but certainly didn’t look lonely and sad. She had been sitting since 3pm when we came here and as we went along with activities.

I saw Sita, Venkat and Priya build castles in the sand. I went and sat beside my guru. As they completed building that castle, Nitya called out for them and three went to join her I saw a bunch of sea-shells in a small plastic bag beside my guru. I knew it had been picked up by few from our group and yet to start the conversation asked “What are they?”

“Memories that they have lived today”. Replied my guru.

I for sure didn’t expect this answer and I didn’t understand it too! So I said “Sorry but I didn’t understand”.

“These dead shells represent memories of your travel and hence collected by many. We don’t know to live a moment completely without sealing it as a memory through a souvenir, photograph or a collectible as mundane and valueless as sea-shells. So I said so” explained my guru I went into silence to understand that statement. Minutes later they seemed like hours when I had been in her company.

Suddenly I blurted out the question that had been long pending. “When I asked “why to pack hair-pins, safety pins etc?” you replied “Write your plan on the paper. It’ll ease your execution” In what way was answer for my question”.

She smiled and said “When you asked that question you actually meant “how could you remember to have such items in the list?”. “Right”.

I hung my head in shame with a smile and nodded in affirmation.

....contd....

Me, My Guru

....contd...

Even without lifting her head she replied “what now doctor?” is the question asked by 2 patients to the doctor. To one he prescribes crocin and other chemotherapy. Does the patient who’s prescribed crocin fight that he’s not given expensive medication like chemo?”

“No” I replied “The medicine depends on the disease not on the person”. 

“Likewise my answer fits the person who asks. How can it be same for all? It’s like trying to give single doses to all. A true master is one who “knows” his student's requirement and then gives him solutions. You can’t sit with one solution and give it to all. It’s not holy ash which is same for all. But, at the same time like holy ash each technique or procedure should give a solution to that particular student”. She explained. "Only that master who knows to treat each student as a separate individual will know to give separate solution."

“Her answers are always right depending upon the person who seeks it"

continued Rahul “Like- wise the answer you gave is right and applies to every person who goes to place of worship seeking same favour from the God. But, her statement talked about her feelings that she experienced at the temple that’s all. There was nothing personal there. She meant everyone who visited that place. She was talking about every religious person who followed rituals only as much as benefits him but was never bothered about his benefactor. It being God here”.

“I think what Rahul said is true! Even I had faced similar situations before and she had clarified them accordingly” agreed Geetha. By now, I saw all others having become calm “As many times before, we’ve misunderstood her again” Preethi echoed everyones thought, they nodded in unison.

I and Rahul left them to contemplate on this issue to have our cup of hot late night tea.

Sipping it he smiled and said “How true were our guru’s words when she said “One who is right need not necessarily be understood as right" I nodded.

"Being RIGHT also can bring pain to the person who is right" I replied. Rahul smiled and we both were lost in thoughts as we gulped our tea....

...contd....

Me, My Guru

....contd...

Me and My guru On road Trip day two

At the guest house we played few games after having dinner, but my guru had already gone to bed. Nithya and few others were sitting in a corner and looked serious and worried. As we passed them they called out my name and I and Rahul went and sat with them Rahul asked “What’s the matter? You all seem very tense and worried?”

“Didn’t you see how our guruji insulted us in front of our students? I don’t know why she is like that? She teaches us one thing and explains it differently to our students” shouted preethi. I could see she was shaking with anger.

“But what did she say?” asked Rahul.

“All that about forgiveness and all. She never said anything about that to us. To us she said what we told there. But today she said something totally different” blurted out Nithya. Now that I noticed this was a group of masters here.

“I understand you completely it’s happened with me few times and not being able to bear the pain anymore, I asked her “When I asked you how do I feel myself better? you said “Do seva” whereas to sushma you said “Chant that mantra few malas” why the difference?

.....contd....

Me, My Guru

...contd...

Now I saw the reason clearly. I thanked Rahul for bringing out this difference so clearly. Each one of us were ashamed of ourselves. We did all this and more in all the temples that we visited. She hadn’t said a word there. But her pain was obvious now. We should be seeing forgiveness for our act but she was on our behalf. Bus driver honked the horn continuously and we got up to go. Rahul walked with my guru. He knew her pain and suffering. Nithya and Madhavi didn’t look comfortable with the whole explanation. They went and sat silently in the bus. The journey for the next few hours would be heavy with silence. At the guest house, we played few games after having dinner, but my Guru had already gone to bed.

.....contd....

On the Road Trip

...contd....

My questions remained unanswered as Rahul asked our Guru “Guruji what was your prayer about?”

She simply said “I didn’t”. Now everyone was floored. But we had seen her kneel down and pray and here she was denying it. “O.K then what did you do kneeling down in the church?” asked Rahul not being ready to let the matters be as most of us. He knew to ask questions the right way with our Guru. She always gave answers the best when he asked her a question the right way.

“I didn’t pray for anyone. I was seeking an answer from the Lord. I asked him “Lord how come when your children call you by name Jesus keep your place of worship so clean and tidy and why your own children when they call you Vishnu, Shiva, Shakthi and such names keep the place of your worship so dirty? Why do the second set of children spit on your premises? Why they put peels of all fruits, groundnuts in temple premises and yet call themselves great devotees of yours? I don’t know the answer and whatever be the answer I seek forgiveness on behalf of them for their stupidity and ignorance. I am sorry on their behalf. Give them intelligence enough to see through their ignorance and arrogance. Give them strength enough to be responsible in keeping that place of worship clean which fulfills their every silly wish. Forgive them for they know not what they do”.

I saw a tear roll down her cheek as she completed her sentence. She was hurt. She was in pain. But not for herself. I’ve always wondered why others weren’t as good as her in my opinion even though they were as much masters as her. 

....contd....

On the Road Trip

....contd....

Now I saw the reason clearly. I thanked Rahul for bringing out this difference so clearly. Each one of us were ashamed of ourselves. We did all this and more in all the temples that we visited. She hadn’t said a word there. But her pain was obvious now. We should be seeing forgiveness for our act but she was on our behalf. Bus driver honked the horn continuously and we got up to go. Rahul walked with my guru. He knew her pain and suffering. Nithya and Madhavi didn’t look comfortable with the whole explanation. They went and sat silently in the bus. The journey for the next few hours would be heavy with silence. At the guest house, we played few games after having dinner, but my Guru had already gone to bed.

On a Road Trip

....contd.....

Our next stop was a Jain mandir. It was old and in dilapated condition. Yet could clearly see the magnificence and grandeur of it in its time. There was a choultry adjacent to it and its rule was “pay-as-per-your-wish”. We rented 3 rooms and rested for couple of hours and left later.  There I found that each person wanted to pay a certain amount since the room rent was not fixed..it surely reflected their character...few wanted to walk away paying just Rs.51/- while few thought Rs.200/- was too huge an amount that they were paying...these were the same people who would pay Rs. 3000/- to a hotel room...people exploited anyone and at every place whenever they got even a least bit of opportunity....and these were the same people who called themselves 'good people'....

At around 4pm our bus stopped by a road side tea stall for tea break. We all got down and ordered for tea. My Guru took her tea glass and started walking into the woods. She sat under a tree after walking about 200mts. Others followed her. All sat around her while sipping tea. “What did you pray for in the church?” asked Ravi suddenly.

“Even we did” echoed Nitya’s and Madhavi’s voice from behind. “After all we are also masters right? Masters behave alike. We knew that energies were good in church so we prayed. But only masters can recognise this energies. So we did what you couldn’t even think of” replied Nithya and Madhavi.

“What was your prayer?” asked Rahul trying to sound curious. He winked at me. I knew even he had noticed arrogance in their voice and tone when they uttered. The word “Masters”. I knew immediately he was trying to pull their legs. I knew he was up to some mischief. I just suppressed my smile.

“Of course, for our well being and for the success and happiness of our family. That is so very important we believe in swadharma. So we pray for our family always. And as we are masters we pray for all by saying “sarvajana sukhinobhavantu”. This is common prayer for all us masters” they replied. 

I could see the redundancy of so many statements in that explanation. Why did they use “swadharma” at all? Were they trying to impress others who weren’t masters? Why the emphasis on “Common prayer by us masters?” were they trying to say no two masters were different and that they were as good a master as my Guru.

...contd....

On the Road Trip

.....contd.....

Me, My Guru- On a Road trip

Day Two:

Yesterday, we had been to a temple town at around 4pm and stayed there overnight. Entire evening passed visiting the various temples in that place. Few of us even shopped a bit. I think with women, it was inevitable. No, I am not including my Guru in that group. She sat in one of the temples till 9pm and joined us for dinner in the guest house.

Today we had been to a cathedral in the morning. It was beautiful. The place was such a small one and yet the cathedral was so huge and magnificent when we were in the church, choir was in progress. It was divine. It was beautiful. We no let me say I enjoyed listening to it. I don’t know about others. I saw my Guru even kneeling down to pray. That surprised quite a few of us. She discusses Hindu scriptures confidently and yet was at home in that church. She stayed there for more than an hour where as we finished it in say 15minutes.

When we were in bus I took liberty to sit beside her and then I asked her “what took you so long to come out of that church?” She said “Peace and Love”. I was floored. We were looking at benches and people in church and no doubt we wrapped up our visit so soon saying there’s nothing much to seen. Where as she was experiencing the presence of divine and hence was held there for such a long time. I smiled at our stupidity of seeing things superficially. I couldn’t dare ask anything more.

....contd....

On a Road Trip -Day One

.....contd....

Me, My Guru- On a Road trip

Day one: 12.30pm

We reached our first destination at around 12.30pm. It was a small temple town. Most of us had our quota of sleep and looked so. Not our Guru I saw her sleeping yet she was looking fresh. As ever, it surprised me.

We all got down and straight away walked into the temple. It was say 500years old simple, elegant and beautiful. We got out of the temple say in an hour. There were few huge tamarind, neem, peepal and we sat under the peepal tree, spread our lunch and enjoyed it. Good we had brought our lunch and dinner for today this way we didn’t need to search for hotel today. Good we were already famished we wouldn’t have had the patience to search for food. I thanked my Guru for being so thoughtful.

With this thought, I started looking for her and found she was walking having had her lunch. No one yet had had their lunch and here she was, done with it and having gone for a walk too! No doubt she could do more work in a given time than most of us. The difference was the speed we all relaxed there for half an hour more and later boarded the bus.

.....contd.....

On the Road Trip - Day One

...contd...

Me, My Guru- On a Road trip

Day one:

The bond between them became so strong that the fawn stayed back with the saint even after it totally recouped. Many years later when the saint was on his death bed the fawn now a fully grown deer was standing beside him. Saints mind was totally agitated when a thought came “who’ll take care of this poor deer when I am no more?”

With this single minded thought and pain he died. Next life he was born a deer. A saint who was to be enlightened had to be born in lower “yoni” or as an animal just because of his “attachment” for his deer. He got once more caught in the cycle of life and death. “You mean to say we shouldn’t love or take care of anyone”. I asked when she concluded her story. “No love by all means. But that love should not give us a feeling that only we can cater to that person’s well being or happiness. We shouldn’t bind ourselves to them. We should fulfill all our responsibilities with love. You can also go an extra mile and pamper that person/ Spoil that person with all the comforts that you can afford. But, being worried about that person’s well being in your absence is making that person dependent on you. That is not good for either of you. Love with all of yourself and more but let it not make your going away some actually could understand it. But even today I have theoretically understood it but have not accepted it or could apply it in any way. So I observe the way she conducts herself in all her relationships and try to learn what my mind has missed to” concluded Aziz.

I understood the last sentence completely. I sailed in that ship many a times with my Guru. And I knew there was no hurrying possible in this direction. Understanding happened in bits and pieces till it was completely understood. Like always, even this time I was ready to wait for that magic to happen.

And till then I went to catch my sleep along with Aziz who was already snoring off. I could see few others also slowly going to sleep. With nothing to do till lunch time I slept.

...contd....

Me, My Guru on a Road Trip

(...Contd.)

“I went to meet her not knowing anything else to do. She had first let me cry to my heart’s content. Then she gave me some tea to drink. As I was drinking the tea she actually started telling a story “Once upon a time in a holy forest lived a saint so deeply engrossed in his spiritual practices, that enlightenment for him was just a stone’s throw away. At such a time, he saw a wounded fawn- a baby deer. So tender, so beautiful, pure and innocent that his affections compelled him to take it along with him and tend to it regularly till it got better. By the time it got better quite some time had elapsed. And during this time, as he was taking care of this fawn, the saint’s affections for this fawn developed and the fawn reciprocated his love.

(...Contd.)

Me, My Guru on a Road Trip

 (...Contd.)

 “Even I used to be confused as you are now. Then she explained what love was to her and the danger of being attached. Now I understand but still can’t apply it completely and hence see her do it every time. That inspires me to live and love the same way in my life”. said Aziz cutting thru my thoughts and answering my unasked question, pointing at my Guru. “She taught me to become less noisy from inside and in silence one can listen to everything she had told. At that time I didn’t understand much. But, as I practiced it I realized its importance and implications. You know, I’ve met lots of masters before stumbling upon her. Even they talked the same words but that’s what they were. Mere words! But she lives it! That’s why her words sound so powerful and have such an impact” explained Aziz putting a hand on my shoulder. Love for her bound us both together especially at that moment. Maybe, this is what is called as a feeling of “Guru Bhai”. “I had cried profusely when my Rambo died. Rambo was my pet – a dog” started explaining Aziz after silence of few minutes. By now, Our Guru (Yes, I could term her as “our” now I felt she was “our” more than “my” Guru now) had climbed the bus and the bus has started.

(...Contd.)

On the Road Trip

....contd

Day Four:

Yesterday late night around eleven we reached this sanctuary and as per our schedule we are to stay here for two days. At night we all were very tired due to travel and went straight to bed.

We had finished our breakfast and were heading for a jeep ride in the sanctuary. Everyone was happy, excited and chatting loudly.

There were no lions or tigers in this sanctuary but we could feel that jungle air sending shiver down our nape. We spotted deer’s, wild buffalos, eagles and elephants too. Just watching these animals in their natural habitat gave us so much of joy. We even saw few donkeys there. We all automatically laughed looking at donkeys. I noticed we generated different emotion for each animal and bird. Surprising! They don’t do anything apart from being themselves yet they evoked different response from us. I found that odd and a bit confusing. Did the same apply to human? I wondered “Donkeys are a rare sight now a day’s” commented someone. So true!

“What we take for granted can one day become a rarity” so true! So frightening! Is it because we are taking it for granted that it becomes rare? I wondered.

“Do we value it when it’s around or do we know it’s worth only when it’s gone?” I wondered.

The entire day went in such activities. After dinner we all sat around the bonfire. Few minutes later our Guruji excused herself and went into her room.

“Sometimes I pity our guruji. She doesn’t know to enjoy life like us. She doesn’t participate in these activities. She takes spirituality very seriously and doesn’t get involved in activities that we all enjoy and look forward to participating” said Preethi. “Same here” agreed Nitya. “Maybe she is conscious in our presence!” venkat said.

Rahul cut that conversation and posed a question “But did she do us any good by planning this trip?”

“I wanted a break so badly from my family and this trip just gave me that. I thank her for understanding my need” answered priya immediately.

“I was totally depressed before this trip but now I am completely healed of it” joined Nithya. “I always wanted to see these place that we’ve visited so far and others in our antinomy. Glad she planned according to my tastes”. Came Raji’s voice form a far.

...contd....

Me, My Guru on a Road Trip

(...Contd.)

While packing, I realized our food was enough for 10 more people a part from our group. When our Guru had invited the farm workers I was bit worried. But she seemed confident. Now, I remember her telling me to order for 10 more people. Did she have intuition of this? Was it a mere coincidence? Whatever be, the food was enough for all and were satisfied and that’s what mattered to me.


We all got into the bus and then I saw my Guru in the fields feeding biscuits to the couple of dogs there. She seemed to be enjoying their company. This part I’ve always been confused about her. Does she love dogs or not? So many offered to give her puppies but she politely declined and yet like now in many occasions I found her feeding them, talking to them.............

(...Contd.)

Me, My Guru on a Road Trip


Day one:-10:00 am

We stopped our bus for breakfast. Aziz went into the fields to talk to the owner. Guru had asked him to. When he came back his smile told us that he had secured permission for us to eat in that mango field. We had brought our breakfast along with us. This was again our Guru’s idea. She insisted on taking upma and idli for our breakfast and so it was ordered. This way she said we could avoid searching for a hotel at least the first day. Now I felt it was a good thought as we spread our bed sheets under the mango trees. We wouldn’t have experienced this joy of eating in any hotel.

We invited the field workers to join us. They were pleasantly surprised and joined us. Our Guru talked to them as if she knew them since ages. They were very comfortable with her we completed our breakfast within half an hour. Our Guru wished to have a look at the fields. The landlord obliged gladly. They left. Few of us stayed back to clean and pack everything. While some joined her in her “tour of the field”. They came back in half an hour.

(...Contd.)