Me, My Guru

...contd....

“But none of those are “my” stories she replied “but most of those stories are made up by you haven’t read them. I know” I said “can I take ownership of the stories that I read in library”. She asked again “or can the librarian say that stories or the truth in his book are his”. “No he can’t” I replied .I sensed where she was going and was comfortable with this.

“I took them from the library of universe. If I had received a thought then there is a sender or writer of the thought and that writer is not me .I know I am writing, saying what “that someone unknown” has said or written then how can I own it at all?” she asked with the simplicity that bowled me over.

“Then what about the others?” I asked “they are saying “it’s” theirs” .I was still fuming as I completed this question.

“In a village comes a villager from city having completed his schooling and having passed 10^th class. As he is the only person who can read a bit, goes through the news paper and reads out the news to all in the village daily. But if he comes to believe that he is the writer of that news , then nothing can be done about the ignorance right ?If someone claims something as theirs it’s their call. I have nothing to say there” she replied and went back to writing.

How coolly she has disowned her works and knowledge? And those who didn’t know how desperate they were in owning up something that wasn’t even their work.

Once in some other context she had said

“Is kamzard zindagi ko kaise kahoon apni zindagi, Ek saans bhi nahi mere ekthiyaar mein”

“How can I call my life as my own .When I don’t have hold on even one breath of mine”. Now today I understood what she meant .She didn’t own what she did.

Me, My Guru

Me, My Guru 

Today pallavi had come to visit my guru .I was cleaning the shelves and the items in that room .I also took the liberty of arranging the items placed in that room. My intention was just that my guru should find it much more easier to work. It also helped me to spend some time with my guru.

Pallavi had been trained by another master .Her master was trained by my guru and yet I found it odd that she was praising her master in my guru’s presence. She was quoting the stories that her master had told her .Those were the stories my guru tells in her class .Of course since her master was trained by my guru she ended up telling those stories and quotes .My Guru just sat listening .She never once interrupted pallavi and said “I know all these .I taught your master all that “.I knew she could have .Yet she choose not to .I was not happy with this .

Pallavi left . Why she came was not clear to me . Had she come only to praise her master? But then, what was the need. Did her master send her to impress my guru? But then again, what was the need? It was confusing.

But when she left, I found my guru go back to her writing. She never seemed to give it a thought. But it was not so with me .I was totally agitated and I needed to vent out my anger now.

I interrupted my guru saying “Please answer my question first and then go back to your writing”. She knew I had pleaded her to answer. She looked up and asked “what’s it?” I asked her how could she not tell her (Pallavi) that those were your quotes and stories .Why didn’t you own them?”

She put her pen down and reclined.  I knew instantly that she was totally relaxed. ”How could she?” I thought “She should be so much more agitated when such incidents happened and yet …..”

...contd...

I cleared my throat not to let out my surprise and said “Good Morning Guruji”.

She gave me a can of water and signaled me to water the plants. I took the can from her and started to water the plants. She started the conversation “where is your vehicle? I didn’t hear you park it?” I was like “What the hell? How much does she notice ?”And said aloud “Gave it for regular service Maam”. “Why?”She asked “Why?”She and her questions sometimes baffled me .But I still managed to answer her mechanically “To maintain my vehicle”.

“But you always sell your vehicle after 5 years why service it when you are any how going to sell it?” she asked.

She was so innocent in worldly affairs. She couldn’t understand such simple things of life. “If the vehicle is in good shape, then I’ll get a better offer when I put it for sale”. I said trying to enlighten her.

“Oh!”She said. There was silence after that. I completed watering the plants and placed the can in its place. She still had couple of plants to trim. I went and stood beside her.

“Gopi told me that you asked him to wash the shirt you had lent him the other day. Is it true?”She started the communication. She seemed lost today. She was starting the conversation by herself which was a rarity by itself? Over and above she was talking about such insignificant things that I felt I should leave soon today. The day no more looked promising “Yes” I replied as a matter of courtesy. "Why?” She enquired. “What why?” I thought but said aloud “Because it is basic etiquette to return the clean clothes that you take from others. I don’t like when others spoil it and return it to me .That’s why I asked Gopi to clean it and give back my clothes clean and pressed. That’s all!”

“Exactly. The clothes that I am wearing which you call my body is lent to me by HIM and I wish to return it in good shape back to HIM and hence do exercise and such activities to maintain it well. The way I keep, respect, maintain this body talks of my character and based on this I will be given a vehicle i.e. new body in next life. The reason  you have to take care of your vehicle are the same why I take care of this vehicle which you call as my body?”She asked.

Now I understood the whole conversation differently .She was answering my question which I had long forgotten. My day wasn’t wasted .Being with her did benefit me .But for that I have to be aware and not be judging impromptu . I took her leave and left satisfied.

Me, My Guru

Me ,My Guru

I always felt my guru didn’t follow what she preached. Many times she said sentences like “body is mine but I am not the body”. Yet I found her doing yoga, excercise, pranayamam and such physical activities to keep her body strong and fit. Many times her food habits and diet routine made me wonder if she was fitness freak. Today as she was doing her routine “walking”. I decided to join her. I never could be silent in her presence. Questions always seem to pound me and my head and they popped out of my mouth as it did today “you always say that” you are not the body” then why do you take so much pain to maintain it?” she uttered her classic “mmmm” sound and continued walking smile on her lips told me that she wasn’t going to answer my question today. I didn’t like it, but I suppose I didn’t have much of choice and so I let it be.

Few days passed. Today was Monday. I hurried to meet my guru. I always felt she was her best on Mondays though I never could understand why? And I preferred to be in her company whenever she was in good mood. I found her humming as she was trimming her plants . My hunch was right she was cheerful.

She didn’t turn around. I didn’t make any noise. Yet when I neared her, she said without turning around “So early today!” I was taken aback as usual. This has happened so many times .Yet every time I was surprised! How in the hell does she know who it is? This question was never  answered. May be because I didn’t dare to ask her.

Only one who knows to give , Receive!