NOTE : Madhumita, please share the notes that you have taken down and I'll elaborate on the same...what you haven't understood in that sentence of 'Poornamadam..........' is unclear - hence...

The lesson intended by a writer is hardly ever the lesson the world chooses to learn from his writing.

What I do today is VERY IMPORTANT because I am exchanging a day of my life for it!

Me, My Guru

Pia : How could you not retaliate when that boy abused you in front of everyone? Are you not a man?
Rahul smiled and replied :

Once a Husband asked his wife "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?" and the Wife replied "I clean the toilet." Husband unable to hide his curiosity asked "How does that help?" to which Wife replied calmly "I use your toothbrush ."

Anger can be used both constructively and imaginatively to get even with the person. Get it?

A hard working person is one who fights his anger. He despises it and wants to suppress that emotion. But the smart person is one who uses anger constructively and productively.

For e.g.:
1. We can exercise whenever we are angry (if we get angry regularly) and thereby get a healthy and a more beautiful body.
2. We can clean the house or the premises whenever we are angry, thereby benefiting by living in a clean environment.
3. We can pickup a hobby like music, gardening etc and practice it whenever we are angry

Think of so many ways of using a great and powerful emotion like anger positively and for your benefit and growth……….while I check out of my weaknesses and see how I can use them to my benefit……

13.10.2011
“Is it true that suffering is a ‘must’ in marriage?’’ I asked my Guru who was sitting looking at the setting sun in a pensive mood.
“Mmm...yes, if you are looking for happiness in marriage” replied my Guru smiling. I was taken aback. “You mean, I shouldn’t expect happiness from marriage?’ I asked surprised. “Yes, you can. But that would make suffering inevitable”. “Then why at all should I marry?” I mumbled “if not for happiness?” “Because, you want to experience life with ‘that’ person. Because, you know ‘together we can face anything’. You shouldn’t marry because it would make the ride easier. Of life I mean – but because it makes it worthwhile”.
I didn’t understand and that may be was obvious from the expression on my face and hence she continued “Fine. Let me put it this way. If I expect emotional, financial support from the spouse, I end up suffering when it is not met. If I want house kept in a certain fashion and not met, I suffer. All this type of suffering comes from my expectations. But, if I have clarity of thought, I would understand that the person himself is empty of strength and hence can’t be a support to me, then suffering is optional – in fact, avoidable”.
“Oh, so, if I have clarity of thought, then I’ll be happy in marriage” I said thoughtfully.
“No, I didn’t say that. I said if you have clarity of thought then ‘suffering is optional’ but not a compulsion. Suffering is avoidable with clarity of thought. Happiness doesn’t come into the picture at all! Happiness is a state of mind. You are happy because you want to be. Married or not doesn’t make a difference there. Expectations can never be met and hence expectations and marriage don’t go together. Whereas happiness is a state of mind and that is independent of your marital status. In short, if you are trying to say “I am happy because I am married you are heading towards suffering, but if you have clarity of thought, you would say “I am happy in spite of being married” concluded my Guru.
I still was as confused as when I asked the question but didn’t wish to get confused further, so left wanting to chew on that answer of hers…
Till I come back with understanding, you try to understand the answer…

Rahul Pia

Pia – You told me your father hates cats. But, I see this cat so often at your place. Doesn’t your father say anything?

Rahul: “He comes, he goes. What my father goes in between?

“Woh aaya, woh gaya mere baap ka beech mein kya jata hai?”

So simple! How many issues wouldn’t crop up in the first place, if each is just being concerned about self rather than dictating as to how other should be? For eg:

If someone likes certain colour, movie, person anything , why do we jump to prove him right/wrong? Can’t we just let him be?

If someone does something in his life, why do we sit to judge him and his actions, can’t we just let him live his life?

Simply put, “how someone is, acts, is none of my business”. If each one can follow it, so much of negativity can be done away with. Always remember ‘

“He comes, he goes. What my father goes in between?

Just share with us how many places you applied it and felt relieved?